Not a Memoir

Author: Norm Macdonald

Publisher: Spiegel & Grau

ISBN: 0812993632

Category: Humor

Page: 256

View: 7813

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Driving, wild and hilarious” (The Washington Post), here is the incredible “memoir” of the actor, gambler, raconteur, and Saturday Night Live veteran. Don’t miss Norm’s new Netflix special, Hitler’s Dog, Gossip & Treachery! When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.” Praise for Based on a True Story “Dostoyevsky by way of 30 Rockefeller Center . . . the best new book I’ve read this year or last.”—The Wall Street Journal “This book is absurd fiction. . . . Scathing and funny.”—The New York Times “Hilarious and filled with turns of phrase and hidden beauty like only a collection of Norm Macdonald stories could be.”—Esquire “Raucous . . . a hilarious, innovative work.”—A.V. Club “Part personal history and part meta riff on celebrity memoirs, the book, it quickly becomes clear, is also just partly true (and all hilarious).”—Vulture “Very, very, very funny! Thanks, Norm, for letting me be part of this Booker Prize–for–literature–quality effort.”—David Letterman “Norm is brilliant and thoughtful and there is sensitivity and creative insight in his observations and stories. A lot of comics over the years have been compared to Mark Twain, but I think Norm is the only one who actually matches the guy in terms of his voice and ability. I seriously f**king love Norm Macdonald. Please buy his book. He probably needs the cash. He’s really bad with money.”—Louis C.K., from the foreword “Norm is one of my all-time favorites, and this book was such a great read I forgot how lonely I was for a while.”—Amy Schumer “I always thought Normie’s stand-up was the funniest thing there was. But this book gives it a run for its money.”—Adam Sandler “Norm is one of the greatest stand-up comics who’s ever worked—a totally original voice. His sense of the ridiculous and his use of juxtaposition in his writing make him a comic’s comic. We all love Norm.”—Roseanne Barr “Norm Macdonald makes me laugh my ass off. Who is funnier than Norm Macdonald? Nobody.”—Judd Apatow “Norm Macdonald is more than a triple threat—he’s a septuple threat. He is smart, funny, wry, rakish, polite, rakish . . . no, wait. He is polite, insightful, and . . . aaaaah . . . warm. No. He’s exciting. Yeah. Exciting! You never know what he’ll do. Okay, then make that unpredictable. Add that up. He’s amazing.”—Alec Baldwin “Norm is a double threat. His material and timing are both top-notch, which is unheard of. He is one of my favorites, both on- and off-stage.”—Dave Attell “Letterman said it best: There is no one funnier than Norm Macdonald.”—Rob Schneider
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Author: Norm MacDonald

Publisher: Spiegel & Grau

ISBN: 9780812983869

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 272

View: 6782

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER * "Driving, wild and hilarious" (The Washington Post), here is the incredible "memoir" of the actor, gambler, raconteur, and Saturday Night Live veteran. When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre "one step below instruction manuals." Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, "Call it anything you damn like." Praise for Based on a True Story "Dostoyevsky by way of 30 Rockefeller Center . . . the best new book I've read this year or last."--The Wall Street Journal "This book is absurd fiction. . . . Scathing and funny."--The New York Times "Hilarious and filled with turns of phrase and hidden beauty like only a collection of Norm Macdonald stories could be."--Esquire "Raucous . . . a hilarious, innovative work."--A.V. Club "Part personal history and part meta riff on celebrity memoirs, the book, it quickly becomes clear, is also just partly true (and all hilarious)."--Vulture "Very, very, very funny! Thanks, Norm, for letting me be part of this Booker Prize-for-literature-quality effort."--David Letterman "Norm is brilliant and thoughtful and there is sensitivity and creative insight in his observations and stories. A lot of comics over the years have been compared to Mark Twain, but I think Norm is the only one who actually matches the guy in terms of his voice and ability. I seriously f**king love Norm Macdonald. Please buy his book. He probably needs the cash. He's really bad with money."--Louis C.K., from the foreword "Norm is one of my all-time favorites, and this book was such a great read I forgot how lonely I was for a while."--Amy Schumer "I always thought Normie's stand-up was the funniest thing there was. But this book gives it a run for its money."--Adam Sandler "Norm is one of the greatest stand-up comics who's ever worked--a totally original voice. His sense of the ridiculous and his use of juxtaposition in his writing make him a comic's comic. We all love Norm."--Roseanne Barr "Norm Macdonald makes me laugh my ass off. Who is funnier than Norm Macdonald? Nobody."--Judd Apatow "Norm Macdonald is more than a triple threat--he's a septuple threat. He is smart, funny, wry, rakish, polite, rakish . . . no, wait. He is polite, insightful, and . . . aaaaah . . . warm. No. He's exciting. Yeah. Exciting! You never know what he'll do. Okay, then make that unpredictable. Add that up. He's amazing."--Alec Baldwin "Norm is a double threat. His material and timing are both top-notch, which is unheard of. He is one of my favorites, both on- and off-stage."--Dave Attell "Letterman said it best: There is no one funnier than Norm Macdonald."--Rob Schneider
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A Memoir

Author: Norm Macdonald

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 144341431X

Category: Humor

Page: 256

View: 957

Wild, dangerous, and flat-out unbelievable, here is the incredible memoir of the Canadian actor, gambler, and raconteur, and one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time. As this book’s title suggests, Norm Macdonald tells the story of his life—more or less—from his origins on a farm in the backwoods of Ontario and an epically disastrous appearance on Star Search to his account of auditioning for Lorne Michaels and his memorable run as the anchor of Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live—until he was fired because a corporate executive didn’t think he was funny. But Based on a True Story is much more than just a memoir; it’s the hilarious, inspired epic of Norm’s life. In dispatches from a road trip to Las Vegas (part of a plan hatched to regain the fortune he’d lost to sports betting and other vices) with his sidekick and enabler, Adam Eget, Norm recounts the milestone moments, the regrets, the love affairs, the times fortune smiled on his life, and the times it refused to smile. As the clock ticks down, Norm’s debt reaches record heights, and he must find a way to evade the hefty price that’s been placed on his head by one of the most dangerous loan sharks in the country. As a comedy legend should, Norm peppers these pages with classic jokes and long-mythologized Hollywood stories. This wildly adventurous, totally original, and absurdly funny saga turns the conventional “comic’s memoir” on its head and gives the reader an exclusive pass inside the mad, glorious mind of Norm Macdonald.
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Author: Delphine de Vigan

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing

ISBN: 1408878836

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 3827

'A wonderful literary trompe l'oeil: a book about friendship, writing and the boundary between reality and fantasy ... Dark, smart, strange, compelling' Harriet Lane, bestselling author of Her Overwhelmed by the huge success of her latest novel, exhausted and suffering from a crippling inability to write, Delphine meets L. L. embodies everything Delphine admires; sophisticated and unusually intuitive, she slowly but deliberately carves herself a niche in the writer's life. However, as she makes herself indispensable to Delphine, the intensity of this unexpected friendship manifests itself in increasingly sinister ways. And as their lives become further entwined, L. begins to threaten Delphine's identity and her safety.
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Based on a True Story

Author: Linda Sue Park

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

ISBN: 9780547532844

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 128

View: 3121

The New York Times bestseller A Long Walk to Water begins as two stories, told in alternating sections, about two eleven-year-olds in Sudan, a girl in 2008 and a boy in 1985. The girl, Nya, is fetching water from a pond that is two hours’ walk from her home: she makes two trips to the pond every day. The boy, Salva, becomes one of the "lost boys" of Sudan, refugees who cover the African continent on foot as they search for their families and for a safe place to stay. Enduring every hardship from loneliness to attack by armed rebels to contact with killer lions and crocodiles, Salva is a survivor, and his story goes on to intersect with Nya’s in an astonishing and moving way.
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A Memoir

Author: Augusten Burroughs

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 9781429902526

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 5408

Now including an excerpt from Lust & Wonder, a new memoir coming in March 2016. Running with Scissors is the true story of a boy whose mother (a poet with delusions of Anne Sexton) gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead-ringer for Santa and a lunatic in the bargain. Suddenly, at age twelve, Augusten Burroughs found himself living in a dilapidated Victorian in perfect squalor. The doctor's bizarre family, a few patients, and a pedophile living in the backyard shed completed the tableau. Here, there were no rules, there was no school. The Christmas tree stayed up until summer, and Valium was eaten like Pez. And when things got dull, there was always the vintage electroshock therapy machine under the stairs.... Running with Scissors is at turns foul and harrowing, compelling and maniacally funny. But above all, it chronicles an ordinary boy's survival under the most extraordinary circumstances.
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Based on a True Story

Author: Jill Soloway

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 0743290046

Category: Literary Collections

Page: 272

View: 3965

From the creator and director of Transparent and Emmy nominated writer for Six Feet Under comes a hilarious and unforgettable memoir. When Jill Soloway was just thirteen, she and her best friend donned the tightest satin pants they could find, poufed up their hair and squeezed into Candies heels, then headed to downtown Chicago in search of their one-and-only true loves forever: the members of whichever rock band was touring through town. Never mind that both girls still had braces, coke-bottle-thick glasses and had only just bought their first bras...they were fabulous, they felt beautiful, they were tiny ladies in shiny pants. Now that Jill is all grown up and a successful writer and producer, she can look back on her tiny self and share her shiny tales with fondness, absurdity, and obsessive-compulsive attention to even the most embarrassing details. From the highly personal (conflating her own loss of virginity and the Kobe Bryant accusations), to the political (what she has in common with Monica and Chandra), to the outrageously Los Angelean (why women wear huge diamonds and what they must do to get them), Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants is a genre-defying combination of personal essay and memoir, or a hilarious, unruly and unapologetic evaluation of society, religion, sex, love, and—best of all—Jill.
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Murder, Memoir, Mea Culpa

Author: Michael Finkel

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 0062436465

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 336

View: 7700

Now a Major Motion Picture Starring Jonah Hill & James Franco and Distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures When New York Times reporter Michael Finkel meets accused killer Christian Longo–who has taken on Finkel's identity–his investigation morphs into an unforgettable game of cat and mouse. True Story weaves a spellbinding tale of murder, love, deceit, and redemption, following Finkel's relentless pursuit of the shocking truth.
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A Memoir of a Love Affair

Author: Elizabeth McNeill

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062309994

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 144

View: 757

The classic erotic memoir of an intense and haunting relationship that spawned the film. This is a love story so unusual, so passionate, and so extreme in its psychology and sexuality that it takes the reader’s breath away. Unlike The Story of O, Nine and a Half Weeks is not a novel or fantasy; it is a true account of an episode in the life of a real woman. Elizabeth McNeill was an executive for a large corporation when she began an affair with a man she met casually. From the beginning, their sexual excitement escalates through domination and humiliation. As the affair progresses, woman and man play out ever more dangerous and more elaborate sado-masochistic variations. By the end, she has relinquished all control over her body and mind. With a cool detachment that makes the experiences and sensations she describes all the more frightening in their intensity, Elizabeth McNeill beautifully unfolds her story and invites you to experience the mesmerizing, electrifying, and unforgettablly private world of Nine and a Half Weeks.
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Author: Leigh Byrne

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

ISBN: 9781463690021

Category: Fiction

Page: 323

View: 2269

When Tuesday Storm's mother plunges headfirst down a flight of stairs, it's the second-worst thing that ever happens in Tuesday's life. The first? Mama survives the accident. Suddenly she's furious with Tuesday for some mysterious “bad thing” she's done. The doctor says the aggression is due to a brain injury and only temporary. So the Storms do what any proud, Southern family would. They hide the problem, hoping it will go away. Meanwhile little Tuesday becomes the target of unrelenting hostility and twisted “punishments.” In this based-on-a-true-story novel, a now-grown Tuesday recounts, with raw emotion, her sudden “loss” of a nurturing mother, and the tragic years to follow living with the monster in her mother's clothes--a monster she can't stop loving.
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A True Story of Faith, Family and Fighting to Get Back on the Board

Author: Bethany Hamilton

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 147110950X

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 240

View: 8472

They say Bethany Hamilton has saltwater in her veins. How else could one explain the tremendous passion that drives her to surf? How else could one explain that nothing - not even the loss of her arm in a horrific shark attack - could come between her and the waves? That Halloween morning in Kauai, Hawaii Bethany responded to the shark's stealth with a calmness beyond belief. Pushing pain and panic aside, she immediately thought: 'Get to the beach...' Rushed to the hospital, where her father, Ted Hamilton, was about to undergo knee surgery, Bethany found herself taking his spot in the operating theatre. When the first thing Bethany wanted to know after surgery was 'When can I surf again?' it became clear that her unfaltering spirit and determination were part of a greater story - a tale of courage and faith that this modest and soft-spoken girl would come to share with the world.
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The True Story Of Japan's Foremost Geisha

Author: Mineko Iwasaki, Rande Brown

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1471105733

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 352

View: 755

'I can identify the exact moment when things began to change. It was a cold winter afternoon. I had just turned three.' Emerging shyly from her hiding place, Mineko encounters Madam Oima, the formidable proprietress of a prolific geisha house in Gion. Madam Oima is mesmerized by the child's black hair and black eyes: she has found her successor. And so Mineko is gently, but firmly, prised away from her parents to embark on an extraordinary career, of which she will become the best. But even if you are exquisitely beautiful and the darling of the okiya, the life of a geisha is one of gruelling professional demands. And Mineko must first contend with her bitterly jealous sister who is determined to sabotage her success . . . Captivating and poignant, GEISHA OF GION tells of Mineko's ascendancy to fame and her ultimate decision to leave the profession she found so constricting.
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A Memoir

Author: Jeannette Walls

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1439156964

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 2643

The child of an alcoholic father and an eccentric artist mother discusses her family's nomadic upbringing, during which she and her siblings fended for themselves while their parents outmaneuvered bill collectors and the authorities.
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Author: Arthur Golden

Publisher: Vintage

ISBN: 9780375406782

Category: Fiction

Page: 448

View: 3745

A literary sensation and runaway bestseller, this brilliant debut novel tells with seamless authenticity and exquisite lyricism the true confessions of one of Japan's most celebrated geisha. Nominated as one of America’s best-loved novels by PBS’s The Great American Read Speaking to us with the wisdom of age and in a voice at once haunting and startlingly immediate, Nitta Sayuri tells the story of her life as a geisha. It begins in a poor fishing village in 1929, when, as a nine-year-old girl with unusual blue-gray eyes, she is taken from her home and sold into slavery to a renowned geisha house. We witness her transformation as she learns the rigorous arts of the geisha: dance and music; wearing kimono, elaborate makeup, and hair; pouring sake to reveal just a touch of inner wrist; competing with a jealous rival for men's solicitude and the money that goes with it. In Memoirs of a Geisha, we enter a world where appearances are paramount; where a girl's virginity is auctioned to the highest bidder; where women are trained to beguile the most powerful men; and where love is scorned as illusion. It is a unique and triumphant work of fiction—at once romantic, erotic, suspenseful—and completely unforgettable.
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Author: Saroo Brierley

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 1743772173

Category:

Page: 208

View: 3344

Can you imagine being lost and not finding your way home again? Saroo Brierley became lost on a train in India at the age of five. Not knowing the name of his family or where he was from, he survived for weeks on the streets of Kolkata, before being taken into an orphanage and adopted by a family in Australia. Despite being happy in his new home, Saroo always wondered about his origins. He spent hours staring at the map of India on his bedroom wall. He pored over satellite images on Google Earth seeking out landmarks he recognised. And one day, after years of searching, he miraculously found what he was looking for. Then he set off on a journey back to India to see if he could find his mother. This inspirational true story of survival and triumph against incredible odds is now a major motion picture starring Dev Patel, David Wenham and Nicole Kidman.
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A Little Boy's Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back : Conversation Guide

Author: Todd Burpo

Publisher: Thomas Nelson Inc

ISBN: 141855068X

Category: Religion

Page: 119

View: 2418

Why should we care about heaven? -- What is heaven like? -- When does a person go to heaven? -- Where is heaven? -- Who goes to heaven?
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Author: Ralph Sarchie,Lisa Collier Cool

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1250059496

Category: Body, Mind & Spirit

Page: 368

View: 5667

A veteran NYPD officer describes how he moonlights as an investigator into the supernatural, offering a close-up look at some of his most shocking cases, including malevolent spirits, an incubus, demonic possession, bizarre rituals, and other terrifying incidents. Original.
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Author: Ned Vizzini

Publisher: Disney Electronic Content

ISBN: 1423141083

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 448

View: 357

Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
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The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA's War Against Terrorism

Author: Robert Baer

Publisher: Broadway Books

ISBN: 9781400045983

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 304

View: 596

In See No Evil, one of the CIA’s top field officers of the past quarter century recounts his career running agents in the back alleys of the Middle East. In the process, Robert Baer paints a chilling picture of how terrorism works on the inside and provides compelling evidence about how Washington politics sabotaged the CIA’s efforts to root out the world’s deadliest terrorists. On the morning of September 11, 2001, the world witnessed the terrible result of that intelligence failure with the attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. In the wake of those attacks, Americans were left wondering how such an obviously long-term, globally coordinated plot could have escaped detection by the CIA and taken the nation by surprise. Robert Baer was not surprised. A twenty-one-year veteran of the CIA’s Directorate of Operations who had left the agency in 1997, Baer observed firsthand how an increasingly bureaucratic CIA lost its way in the post–cold war world and refused to adequately acknowledge and neutralize the growing threat of Islamic fundamentalist terror in the Middle East and elsewhere. A throwback to the days when CIA operatives got results by getting their hands dirty and running covert operations, Baer spent his career chasing down leads on suspected terrorists in the world’s most volatile hot spots. As he and his agents risked their lives gathering intelligence, he watched as the CIA reduced drastically its operations overseas, failed to put in place people who knew local languages and customs, and rewarded workers who knew how to play the political games of the agency’s suburban Washington headquarters but not how to recruit agents on the ground. See No Evil is not only a candid memoir of the education and disillusionment of an intelligence operative but also an unprecedented look at the roots of modern terrorism. Baer reveals some of the disturbing details he uncovered in his work, including: * In 1996, Osama bin Laden established a strategic alliance with Iran to coordinate terrorist attacks against the United States. * In 1995, the National Security Council intentionally aborted a military coup d’etat against Saddam Hussein, forgoing the last opportunity to get rid of him. * In 1991, the CIA intentionally shut down its operations in Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia, and ignored fundamentalists operating there. When Baer left the agency in 1997 he received the Career Intelligence Medal, with a citation that says, “He repeatedly put himself in personal danger, working the hardest targets, in service to his country.” See No Evil is Baer’s frank assessment of an agency that forgot that “service to country” must transcend politics and is a forceful plea for the CIA to return to its original mission—the preservation of our national sovereignty and the American way of life.
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Author: Solomon Northup

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 2765903190

Category: History

Page: 300

View: 6928

Twelve Years a Slave (1853) is a memoir and slave narrative by Solomon Northup, as told to and edited by David Wilson. Northup, a black man who was born free in New York, details his kidnapping in Washington, D.C. and subsequent sale into slavery. After having been kept in bondage for 12 years in Louisiana by various masters, Northup was able to write to friends and family in New York, who were in turn able to secure his release. Northup's account provides extensive details on the slave markets in Washington, D.C. and New Orleans and describes at length cotton and sugar cultivation on major plantations in Louisiana.
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