A Novel

Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1466835435

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 5630

A Winner of the 2016 Alex Awards Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. Mysterious, smooth-talking power players who lurk behind the scenes. A young woman from the trailer park. And her very smelly cat. Together, they will decide the future of mankind. Get ready for a world in which anyone can have the powers of a god or the fame of a pop star, in which human achievement soars to new heights while its depravity plunges to the blackest depths. A world in which at least one cat smells like a seafood shop's dumpster on a hot summer day. This is the world in which Zoey Ashe finds herself, navigating a futuristic city in which one can find elements of the fantastic, nightmarish and ridiculous on any street corner. Her only trusted advisor is the aforementioned cat, but even in the future, cats cannot give advice. At least not any that you'd want to follow. Will Zoey figure it all out in time? Or maybe the better question is, will you? After all, the future is coming sooner than you think.
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A Novel

Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1250040191

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 5798

New York Times bestselling author David Wong takes readers to a whole new level with his latest darkly comic sci-fi thriller.
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Author: David Wong

Publisher: Titan Books

ISBN: 1783291850

Category: Fiction

Page: 496

View: 1049

In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near-future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. College grad Zoey discovers her scumbag dad was one of the founding members of the Fancy Suits, and quickly becomes entangled in the city's surreal mob war when she is taken hostage by a particularly crazy villain.
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Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 031255513X

Category: Fiction

Page: 375

View: 1873

A full-length tale based on the cult online serial by the editor-in-chief of Cracked.com finds an increasing number of people changed into threatening inhuman creatures by a hallucinogen, a situation that places the fate of the world in the hands of a pair of anti-heroes. 50,000 first printing.
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Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1250017904

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 2707

From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
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A Novel of Cosmic Horror

Author: David Wong

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 1466835443

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 9896

It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached." No, don't put the book back on the shelf -- it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with e-books, too, I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they -- like you -- would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome -- and, to be frank, stupid -- cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for. John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, New York Times bestselling author David Wong is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series.
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A Novel

Author: Robert Brockway

Publisher: Tor Books

ISBN: 1466869305

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 7990

From Robert Brockway, Sr. Editor and Columnist of Cracked.com comes The Unnoticeables, a funny and frightening urban fantasy. There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved. Carey doesn't much like that idea. As a punk living in New York City, 1977, Carey is sick and tired of watching strange kids with unnoticeable faces abduct his friends. He doesn't care about the rumors of tar-monsters in the sewers or unkillable psychopaths invading the punk scene—all he wants is to drink cheap beer and dispense ass-kickings. Kaitlyn isn't sure what she's doing with her life. She came to Hollywood in 2013 to be a stunt woman, but last night a former teen heartthrob tried to eat her, her best friend has just gone missing, and there's an angel outside her apartment. Whatever she plans on doing with her life, it should probably happen in the few remaining minutes she has left. There are angels. There are demons. They are the same thing. It's up to Carey and Kaitlyn to stop them. The survival of the human race is in their hands. We are, all of us, well and truly screwed. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
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Author: Yahtzee Croshaw

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

ISBN: 1506706428

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 1024

In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams — and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI. *Mogworld is the debut novel from video-game icon Yahtzee Croshaw (Zero Punctuation)! With an exclusive one-chapter preview of Yahtzee Croshaw's next novel, Jam—coming to bookstores in October 2012! *Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's video review site, Zero Punctuation, receives over 2,500,000 unique hits a month, and has been licensed by G4 Television. *Yahtzee's blog receives about 150,000 hits per day. "The first legitimate breakout hit from the gaming community in recent memory." -Boing Boing
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Jam

Author: Yahtzee Croshaw

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

ISBN: 150670641X

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 5823

We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented. Yahtzee Croshaw (Mogworld, Zero Punctuation Reviews) returns to print with a follow-up to his smash-hit debut: Jam, a dark comedy about the one apocalypse no one predicted. * The hilarious new novel by the author of Mogworld! * Croshaw's Zero Punctuation Reviews is the most viewed video game review on the web! * For lovers of bizarre horror and unforgettable characters! "[Croshaw is] able to pull off slapstick comedy in print, and that's no easy feat." –ComicsAlliance
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Author: Kij Johnson

Publisher: Tor Books

ISBN: 1466800658

Category: Fiction

Page: 320

View: 9895

In her skillful debut novel, Kij Johnson took the classic Japanese myth of the fox who dared to become a woman to win true love and created The Fox Woman, a luminous, lyrical tale of love, desire, joy, and the nature of the soul. Set in the same universe as The Fox Woman, this time Kij Johnson takes on another animal totem and enters the world of the creature who comes to be known as Kagaya-hime, a sometime woman warrior, occasional philosopher, and reluctant confidante to noblemen. And who may or may not be the figment of the imagination of an aging empress who is embarking on the last journey of her life, setting aside the trappings of court life and reminiscing as she follows the paths that are leading her to the nunnery and death. Fudoki is the tale of a being who starts her journey on the kami, or spirit road, as a humble-if ever a being such as a Cat can be humble-small tortoiseshell feline. She has seen her family destroyed by a fire that decimated most of the Imperial city. This loss renders her taleless, the only one left alive to pass on such stories as The Cat Born the Year the Star Fell, the Cat with a Litter of Ten, the Fire-Tailed Cat. Without her fudoki-self and soul and home and shrine-she cannot keep the power of her clan together. And she cannot join another fudoki because, although she might be able to win a place within another clan, to do so would mean that she would cease to be herself. So a small cat begins an extraordinary journey. Along the way she will attract the attention of old and ancient powers, including gods who are curious about this creature newly come to Japan's shores, and who choose to give the tortoiseshell a human shape. And who set her on a new kami road, where Kagaya-hime will have to choose a way to find what happiness she can. Weaving a haunting story of one being's transformation and journey of discovery with the telling of another's long life set against the backdrop of the courtly rituals of Imperial power, Kij Johnson has written a powerful novel about the nature of freedom and the redemptive power of transformation--if only one is brave enough to risk it all. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
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Author: Melanie Crowder

Publisher: Speak

ISBN: 0147512492

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 400

View: 4491

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Author: Chuck Palahniuk

Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

ISBN: 0393652602

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 2401

The author of Fight Club takes America beyond our darkest dreams in this timely satire. People pass the word only to those they trust most: Adjustment Day is coming. They’ve been reading a mysterious book and memorizing its directives. They are ready for the reckoning. Adjustment Day, the author’s first novel in four years, is an ingeniously comic work in which Chuck Palahniuk does what he does best: skewer the absurdities in our society. Smug, geriatric politicians bring the nation to the brink of a third world war in an effort to control the burgeoning population of young males; working-class men dream of burying the elites; and professors propound theories that offer students only the bleakest future. Into this dyspeptic time a blue-black book is launched carrying such wisdom as: Imagine there’s no God. There is no Heaven or Hell. There is only your son and his son and his son and the world you leave for them. The weak want you to forgo your destiny just as they’ve shirked theirs. A smile is your best bulletproof vest. When Adjustment Day arrives, it fearlessly makes real the logical conclusion of every separatist fantasy, alternative fact, and conspiracy theory lurking in the American psyche.
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A Novel

Author: Paul Neilan

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 1429907347

Category: Fiction

Page: 240

View: 9903

A scathingly funny debut novel about disillusionment, indifference, and one man's desperate fight to assign absolutely no meaning to modern life. The only thing Shane cares about is leaving. Usually on a Greyhound bus, right before his life falls apart again. Just like he planned. But this time it's complicated: there's a sadistic corporate climber who thinks she's his girlfriend, a rent-subsidized affair with his landlord's wife, and the bizarrely appealing deaf assistant to Shane's cosmically unstable dentist. When one of the women is murdered, and Shane is the only suspect who doesn't care enough to act like he didn't do it, the question becomes just how he'll clear the good name he never had and doesn't particularly want: his own. “The malaise of cubicle culture may be well-trodden comedic territory by now, but Neilan's debut skewers office life with a flourish for the grotesque.” —The Village Voice
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Author: Shea Serrano

Publisher: Harry N. Abrams

ISBN: 9781419710414

Category: Humor

Page: 48

View: 2411

Rapper Bun B lends his street cred and occasionally his face to the creative, hilarious, and just flat-out fun imaginings of Shea Serrano in Bun B’s Rap Coloring and Activity Book. Described by the Washington Post as “what every hip-hop head wishes they had as a child,” this imaginative work started as a series of printable rap-related coloring and activity images. The 48-page, fully interactive book of coloring pages, unbelievably clever activities, and smart plays on rap culture brings these stars and their music right into your living room.Featured rappers include: Bun B Queen Latifah Drake Talib Kweli Ice-T Common Wiz Khalifa Ludacris LL COOL J Big Boi Childish Gambino Questlove B.o.B Mac Miller And many, many more! Praise for Bun B's Rap Coloring and Activity Book: “A star-studded cast of some of the biggest names in rap, all in one book.” —Fast Company’s Co.Create blog “It’s 48 pages long, and that’s the exact same number of pages the Bible has, and that’s not an accident. That’s a little thing called God’s will.” —Vice.com “The book is funny, smart, and as kid-tested, mother-approved as some of these guys get.” —Vulture.com “Hilarious…razor sharp.” —XXL “If you've spent any kind of time on the Internet, chances are something Shea Serrano has written, drawn, or created has made you smile . . . The book’s a load of fun, and is sure to please rap nerds and crayon-wielding tykes alike.” —Village Voice “There’s art, humor and education, fun for young and old.” —Paste magazine “This is one of the few Tumblr-to-book projects that doesn’t make me want to punch my computer in disgust. If the phrase ‘see if you can build a Budden’ doesn’t make you chuckle, then you should stay away from hip-hop or jokes.” —Christopher R. Weingarten, SPIN “Bun B’s Rap Coloring and Activity Book is gangsta!” —Mass Appeal.com "48 pages of MC worship mixed with a generous measure of the kind of casual dissing of its star players that hip-hop excels at.” —Esquire “When I’m listening to Drake, I sometimes feel blue. Now, thanks to Bun B’s Rap Coloring and Activity Book, I can make Drake blue, too. And for that, I am eternally grateful.” —Ryan Dombal, Pitchfork.com “The hip-hop coloring book is the single most important thing to happen to color since Cam’s pink Range Rover. Everyone should want a Serrano in their baño.” —Nate Erickson, GQ “Like the old saying goes, the crayon is mightier than the sword. Bun B and Shea have assembled a perfect collection of today’s brightest hip hop stars for fans of all ages to create, color and remix. The Rap Coloring and Activity Book is like your own personal mixtape that you can hang on your fridge and impress everyone with.” —Mike Ayers, Rolling Stone “Fans can now color inside the lines of hip-hop greats.” —LA Times’ Jacket Copy blog “It’s gotta be a first—for rap and for coloring.” —Houston Chronicle “For rap aficionados young and old.” —GQ.com “You may want to buy two copies—one to color, and one to keep fresh and new.” —Buzzfeed “The perfect coloring book for any hip-hop nerd.” —Complex magazine “If you have not already purchased a copy, put down this magazine immediately and go buy Bun B’s Rap Coloring and Activity Book.” —Kindling Quarterly “A playful celebration of rap
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The Stuff You Didn't Know About the Stuff You Thought You Knew

Author: Cracked.com,

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0698161521

Category: Reference

Page: 224

View: 7505

You are an idiot. Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck! But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.
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Author: Jeremy Robert Johnson

Publisher: Eraserhead Press

ISBN: 9781621051718

Category: Fiction

Page: 344

View: 7225

You weren't always an agent of the apocalypse. You used to be a banker. Who knew that too much coffee and a few bad decisions would lead to the end of the world? Life as a corporate drone was killing S.P. Doyle, so he decided to bring down the whole corrupt system from the inside. But after discovering something monstrous in the bank's files, he was framed for murder and trapped inside a conspiracy beyond reason. Now Doyle's doing his best to survive against a nightmare cabal of crooked conglomerates, DNA-doped mutants, drug-addled freak show celebs, experimental surgeons, depraved doomsday cults, and the ultra-bad mojo of a full-blown Hexadrine habit. Joined by his pet turtle Deckard, and Dara, a beautiful missionary with a murderous past, Doyle must find a way to save humankind and fight the terrible truth at the heart of... SKULLCRACK CITY
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Author: Robert Hough

Publisher: Annick Press

ISBN: 9781554517565

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 232

View: 7546

A young man is on a dangerous mission that will secure his future... or leave him dead.
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Rx

A Tale of Electronegativity

Author: Robert Brockway

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

ISBN: 9781482520217

Category: Fiction

Page: 339

View: 9781

Red is a chemical beta tester. It's a nice way of saying 'professional drug addict.'But that's not a problem: Everybody in the Four Posts is nursing an addiction to something. In fact, the city's entire economy is based on Presence -- a chemical hallucinogen that lets the user peek into history. Red's talent for mixing new and interesting narcotic concoctions is usually good for a quick buck and a cheap laugh, but this time something's gone wrong. After huffing a new prototype strain of Presence from Hockner Industries, he's awoken to find himself in violation of a Non-Disclosure Agreement. A crime punishable by death.Red's only hope for salvation lies in a mysterious contact with all the answers and seemingly infinite resources. But to get to him, Red must first navigate the claustrophobic theater of the 'Wells, where nobody is what they seem, escape the clutches of a mad, phallus-obsessed ghetto king, and seek protection from the murderous grey boatmen, all while his frightening and increasingly real hallucinations tear him apart from the inside out. With the help of QC, a walking nanotech factory, and Byron, an upper-class slacker literally addicted to the past, Red must discover what the strange experimental drug is doing to his mind. And he better be quick about it, before the pair of sinister, faceless recovery agents catch up to him...and burn him alive.
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Author: Ronald Malfi

Publisher: Medallion Media Group

ISBN: 1605425885

Category: Fiction

Page: 756

View: 854

In the quiet suburb of Harting Farms, the weekly crime blotter usually consists of graffiti or the occasional bout of mailbox baseball. But in the fall of 1993, children begin vanishing and one is found dead. Newspapers call him the Piper because he has come to take the children away. But there are darker names for him, too . . . Vowing to stop the Piper’s reign of terror, five boys take up the search. Their teenage pledge turns into a journey of self-discovery . . . and a journey into the darkness of their own hometown. On the twilit streets of Harting Farms, everyone is a suspect. And any of the boys might be the Piper’s next victim.
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Author: Michael Rubens

Publisher: Vintage

ISBN: 0307455149

Category: Fiction

Page: 269

View: 1036

Meet Cole: hapless space rogue and part-time smuggler. His sidekick just stole his girlfriend. The galaxy's most hideous and feared bounty hunter wants to lay eggs in his brain. And the luxury space yacht Cole just hijacked turns out to be filled with interstellar do-gooders, one especially loathsome stowaway, and a cargo of freeze-dried orphans. Cole gathers a misfit crew for a desperate journey to the far reaches of the galaxy. But little does Cole suspect that this legendary utopia is home to a band of outlaws bent on destroying the planet's tiny, peaceful community.
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