How to win at modern life, one email at a time

Author: Joe Lycett

Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton

ISBN: 147364044X

Category: Humor

Page: 304

View: 7507

**THE BRILLIANT & IRREVERENT DEBUT FROM AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN JOE LYCETT (8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, Taskmaster), NOW IN PAPERBACK** 'Joe is nothing short of hilarious' SARAH MILLICAN 'I Lycett, I Lycett a lot' HARRY HILL 'We were snorting with laughter like a happy pig throughout. Lots more of the same please Joe! 5*s' HEAT MAGAZINE * * * * * * Dear Reader, Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed. While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again. I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to: - Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companies AND MUCH, MUCH MORE! Joe Lycett x * If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.
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Bamboozle and boycott modern life, one email at a time

Author: Joe Lycett

Publisher: Hodder

ISBN: 9781473640436

Category: Humor

Page: 304

View: 8097

Dear Reader, Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed. While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again. I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learned how to: - Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companies AND MUCH, MUCH MORE! Joe Lycett x * If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.
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How to win at modern life, one email at a time

Author: Joe Lycett

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 147364044X

Category: Humor

Page: 304

View: 7063

The mischievous and hilarious bulletins from comedy's fastest rising star. Dear Reader, Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips. Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed. While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again. I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to: - Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companies AND MUCH, MUCH MORE! Joe Lycett x * If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.
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The No.1 Sunday Times Bestselling Autobiography

Author: Sarah Millican

Publisher: Trapeze

ISBN: 1409174336

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 304

View: 6783

Hilarious, heartwarming and inspirational, this is the number 1 Sunday Times bestselling autobiography by comedian Sarah Millican. The funniest book of the year! ***** 'The naughtiest, helpiest, laughieoutloudiest and goodest book I've ever done reading on. Give that girl a banana!' DAWN FRENCH SARAH MILLICAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH, FEEL NORMAL AND PROBABLY SNIFF YOUR LEGGINGS. Part autobiography, part self help, part confession, part celebration of being a common-or-garden woman, part collection of synonyms for nunny, Sarah Millican's debut book delves into her super normal life with daft stories, funny tales and proper advice on how to get past life's blips - like being good at school but not good at friends, the excitement of IBS and how to blossom post divorce. If you've ever worn glasses at the age of six, worn an off-the-shoulder gown with no confidence, been contacted by an old school bully, lived in your childhood bedroom in your thirties, been gloriously dumped in a Frankie and Benny's, cried so much you felt great, been for a romantic walk with a dog, worn leggings two days in a row even though they smelt of wee from a distance, then this is YOUR BOOK. If you haven't done those things but wish you had, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. If you just want to laugh on a train/sofa/toilet or under your desk at work, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. 'Of course Sarah Millican's book will make you laugh out loud, but there are moments where she will touch you deeply. The dirty bitch.' KATHY BURKE
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Author: James Acaster

Publisher: Headline

ISBN: 1472247205

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 6967

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER and 2017 Humour Book of the Year pick 'Laugh-out-loud hilarious' - Chortle 'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring 'James Acaster has a brilliant comic mind, crackling with energy every bit as much as his corduroy slacks' - Milton Jones James Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and RUSSELL HOWARD'S STAND UP CENTRAL. But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself. Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.
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Confessions of a hopeless modern romantic - THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

Author: Joel Dommett

Publisher: Headline

ISBN: 1472251288

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 5818

'Effortless humour and bucketloads of charm. It's impossible not to be bowled over by the ending. Most definitely my favourite celebrity memoir in a long time. Brilliant.' - THE SUN **The hilarious debut from I'm A Celeb star Joel Dommett (Live at the Apollo, 8 Out of 10 Cats, Impractical Jokers), for fans of Joe Lycett, James Acaster and Sarah Millican** As a 17-year-old virgin working . . . for Virgin, Joel Dommett has grand ambitions. Firstly, he is going to swap suburbia for the bright lights of Showbiz. Secondly, he is going to find 'the one' in the first forty people he's going to sleep with. What follows is a series of disastrous romantic encounters, including carpets mistaken for toilets, futile grand gestures and the catfishing to end all catfishing. Featuring genuine teenage diary entries and told in Joel's trademark self-deprecating style, this is the brilliant first book from the UK's most exciting comedian.
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Author: Richard Ayoade

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571316549

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 252

View: 7511

In this book Richard Ayoade - actor, writer, director, and amateur dentist - reflects on his cinematic legacy as only he can: in conversation with himself. Over ten brilliantly insightful and often erotic interviews, Ayoade examines himself fully and without mercy, leading a breathless investigation into this once-in-a-generation visionary. Only Ayoade can appreciate Ayoade's unique methodology. Only Ayoade can recognise Ayoade's talent. Only Ayoade can withstand Ayoade's peculiar scent. Only Ayoade can truly get inside Ayoade. They have called their book Ayoade on Ayoade: A Cinematic Odyssey. Take the journey, and your life will never be the same again. Ayoade on Ayoade captures the director in his own words: pompous, vain, angry and very, very funny.
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And Other Lessons from Modern Life

Author: David Mitchell

Publisher: Guardian Faber Publishing

ISBN: 178335058X

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 304

View: 7818

What's wrong with calling a burglar brave? Why are people so f***ing hung up about swearing? Why do the asterisks in that sentence make it okay? Why do so many people want to stop other people doing things, and how can they be stopped from stopping them? Why is every film and TV programme a sequel or a remake? Why are we so reliant on perpetual diversion that someone has created chocolate toothpaste? Is there anything to be done about the Internet? These and many other questions trouble David Mitchell as he delights us with a tour of the absurdities of modern life - from Ryanair to Downton Abbey, sports day to smoking, nuclear weapons to phone etiquette, UKIP to hotdogs made of cats. Funny, provocative and shot through with refreshing amounts of common sense,Thinking About It Only Makes It Worse celebrates and commiserates on the state of things in our not entirely glorious nation.
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Author: Richard Ayoade

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571316573

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 256

View: 6182

Gordy LaSure's passionate about film. He eats film, he drinks film, and sometimes he'll even watch a film. But most of all he loves talking to people about film: whether a comely student with low confidence and a father complex, a Studio 'development' exec who doesn't trust his own judgement, or the countless people Gordy LaSure's encountered in his capacity as the web moderator on an Excessive Sweating Discussion Forum. Gordy LaSure's alwaystalking about films and how they'd be a shit ton better if only people would pull their asses out of their ears and listen to Gordy LaSure. The voyage of this book can be categorised as an attempt to understand How In Hell Film Works. Why are some films bad, and some films terrible?How come just a handful of films (Titanic, Porky's, Dirty Harry) areany good at all? Gordy'll tell you How and Why, and he'll give you a slug of Wherefore on the side. And he doesn't shoot from the hip; he shoots from the gut.
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Author: Jamie Morton,Alice Levine,James Cooper,Rocky Flintstone

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 150118069X

Category: Fiction

Page: 224

View: 9195

Belinda blinked, it wasn't a dream, the job interviewer had just asked her to remove her jacket and silk blouse.
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The Art Of Sacmming a Scammer

Author: James Veitch

Publisher: Quadrille Publishing

ISBN: 1849497354

Category: Computer fraud

Page: 144

View: 5256

Dot Con is the story of what happened when James Veitch decided to play the scammers at their own game, providing a hilarious showcase of the conversations he orchestrates with online imposters. Naturally, James replies with an offer of help, ready to wire money by Western Union (it's alwaysWestern Union) safely and securely, but not before the recipient has given something in return. Whether it s his long-lost love recounting tales of their favourite moment together, or the business man providing a quote for James' new book, it s amazing to see how easy it can be to scam the scam artists.
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Author: Jon Richardson

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 9780007460908

Category: Mate selection

Page: 304

View: 5092

'I haven't woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it's one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.' Jon Richardson Is your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man... Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon's obssessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes. But Jon doesn't want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?
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Author: Jason Manford

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 0091944856

Category: Comedians

Page: 309

View: 3932

Jason Manford is firmly established as one of the country's favourite stand-ups and is up there with the best northern comedy legends. His career began one night in a pub in Chorlton when a comedian didn't arrive for his set and Jason, the 17-year-old glass collector stepped in to fill the gap. From that point on he's never looked back, until now that is... This is the story in his own words of everything that lead up to that fateful moment - a colourful tale of growing up with lots of family and not enough money, of getting by and sticking together. It is a story of his shameless extended clan of wayward uncles and singing nans and a gobby little knobhead at the heart of it all called Jason. Featuring rock-hard great granddads, doting grandparents, pub-crooning nanas, football-mad dads, pet-obsessed mums, more dodgy uncles than you can shake a stick at, failed exams, dead-end jobs, paper rounds, prostitutes, shocked priests, manslaughter, winning goals, sudden losses, replica shirts, chip-fat incidents, scary pubs, pet meat, fighting Gandhis, cancelled Christmases, Sir Oswald Mosley, flooded tents, call centres, circumcision, puppy love, friends for life, difficult girlfriends, gigs from hell, heart break and, finally, true love... With his laugh-out-loud tales of coming of age, Jason shows he's a generous storyteller and as natural an observer on the page as he is on stage.
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Author: Heidi Heilig

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 006238080X

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 464

View: 4321

The breathtaking sequel to the acclaimed The Girl from Everywhere. Nix has spent her whole life journeying to places both real and imagined aboard her time-traveling father’s ship. And now it’s finally time for her to take the helm. Her future lies bright before her—until she learns that she is destined to lose the one she loves. Desperate to change her fate, Nix sails her crew to a mythical utopia to meet another Navigator who promises to teach her how to manipulate time. But everything in this utopia is constantly changing, and nothing is what it seems. Not even her relationship with Kash: best friend, thief, charmer extraordinaire. Heidi Heilig weaves fantasy, history, and romance together to tackle questions of free will, fate, and what it means to love another person. At the center of this adventure are extraordinary, complicated, and multicultural characters who leap off the page, and an intricate, recognizable world that has no bounds. This sequel—and conclusion—to The Girl from Everywhere includes five black-and-white maps of historical and mythical locations. Fans of Rachel Hartman, Rae Carson, and Outlander will be swept away.
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Author: Lee Mack

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1446488764

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 416

View: 5509

Have you ever wondered where comedians come from? Why is it that one person is a funny bloke down the pub while another actually makes a living by standing up in front of an audience telling jokes? And where does all that material come from? Well, young Lee McKillop used to wonder that too. Growing up in his parents’ pub, small and wiry in a world of bigger and chunkier specimens, Lee quickly learned that cracking jokes was a way to get attention. After a somewhat random series of jobs, which included being Red Rum’s stableboy and a bingo hall barman, it was as a Great Yarmouth holiday camp entertainer that he had his first crack at telling jokes on stage. It got him some laughs, the sack and a punch in the face.* Now, as Lee Mack, he’s one of our best loved and most successful comedians, both as a live stand-up and on television. In Mack the Life, Lee tells the story of how he got there and gives extraordinary insight into what really makes comics tick. Hilarious and brilliant, it’s the kind of book which reminds you why you learned to read in the first place. *Nearly.
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Author: Thomas Keller

Publisher: Artisan Books

ISBN: 1579657567

Category: Cooking

Page: 336

View: 4166

2014 marks the twentieth anniversary of the acclaimed French Laundry restaurant in the Napa Valley—“the most exciting place to eat in the United States” (The New York Times). The most transformative cookbook of the century celebrates this milestone by showcasing the genius of chef/proprietor Thomas Keller himself. Keller is a wizard, a purist, a man obsessed with getting it right. And this, his first cookbook, is every bit as satisfying as a French Laundry meal itself: a series of small, impeccable, highly refined, intensely focused courses. Most dazzling is how simple Keller's methods are: squeegeeing the moisture from the skin on fish so it sautées beautifully; poaching eggs in a deep pot of water for perfect shape; the initial steeping in the shell that makes cooking raw lobster out of the shell a cinch; using vinegar as a flavor enhancer; the repeated washing of bones for stock for the cleanest, clearest tastes. From innovative soup techniques, to the proper way to cook green vegetables, to secrets of great fish cookery, to the creation of breathtaking desserts; from beurre monté to foie gras au torchon, to a wild and thoroughly unexpected take on coffee and doughnuts, The French Laundry Cookbook captures, through recipes, essays, profiles, and extraordinary photography, one of America's great restaurants, its great chef, and the food that makes both unique. One hundred and fifty superlative recipes are exact recipes from the French Laundry kitchen—no shortcuts have been taken, no critical steps ignored, all have been thoroughly tested in home kitchens. If you can't get to the French Laundry, you can now re-create at home the very experience Wine Spectator described as “as close to dining perfection as it gets.”
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A totally gripping thriller with a twist you won’t see coming

Author: Patricia Gibney

Publisher: Bookouture

ISBN: 1786812185

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 8652

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Letters from the World's Most Troublesome Shopper

Author: Terry Ravenscroft

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781843172963

Category: Humor

Page: 208

View: 700

Mr. Renny's paintings are so good that they almost appear real. But no one seems to pay them any attention-until a strange man offers to make everything that Mr. Renny paints come to life. First there's the painting of the apple, which Mr. Renny can now eat. Then there's a huge hotdog, a new car, a cruise liner... Mr. Renny paints himself a life of luxury-until his friend Rose comes to ask if she can buy one of his paintings. But he doesn't have any real paintings left! The spell must be broken-and soon! A book containing subtle references to the work of Belgian surrealist Ren Magritte, the illustrations are full of clever and amusing details.
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Steering Spain from Dictatorship to Democracy

Author: Paul Preston

Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

ISBN: 9780393058048

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 614

View: 2788

A portrait of the enigmatic monarch describes how he was raised according to authoritarian traditions that would groom him for the dictatorship, his defense of the republic, his troubled relationship with his father, his work to consolidate parliamentary democracy, and more. 15,000 first printing.
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